The Science of Communication
Attraction. A beautiful mosaic that two people paint together, each with their unique brush strokes and favourite hues. Two intricate, complex humans coming together to create something equally intricate and complex.
Art. The above are words I appreciate as art. However, looking at it as a critic, or do I say realist would, all I see is science staring back at me. Like the way non-developers see lines of code, all logic and brains.
I even believe with reason “scientifically” that it mostly is a one-man carrying the brush and palette with the other doing a bee dance of approval. This sometimes transits from a round dance to a waggle dance depending on how far the brush carrier wants to go (pfft, let’s be guided, please, I’m no beekeeper😁). In the end, two do paint.
The point is communication births attraction, however one-sided it might sometimes be. One has to be interested to be attracted to what is being communicated. I’d just write narrowing down to the interest of what is being emphasized.
Interest grows from connecting and communicating with the person on a sentimental level. You might be scoffing right now, thinking, “Sentiments, ha! You don’t get me through that” But don’t I?
What aren’t sentiments? Nothing.
From our favourite anime to the people we follow on Twitter, to those intelligent conversations we like to have, down to how I like to have my coffee. There is an element of like, hate, nonchalance or whatever at all that makes people do what they do. Those are the things we need to be connected to, and voilá, we are taken, attracted to whatever or whoever made that connection.
This sounds easy, huh?🙂 Wait until you try doing this and watch you go out selling your likes and interest to others. Now that is not bad whatsoever; it shows how much you love those interests. In the process of establishing a connection with someone, however, while there’s a tendency to want to express yourself a little more than the next person, that’s just you on an overdose of yourself. And that is a spoilsport, an OFFer.
This could happen because you are talking about what YOU love and not what the listener does, so when next you meet a person, how about you try finding out what interests you both first with simple, well-placed questions that could stem off from what happened in a space you both happened to be in before you decide in what line you are going to be conversing? Once you make conversations in line with what interests them as well as yourself, your conversation is off to a great start. So you:
Find what interests you both (which would be the point of connection between you both), then you delve into the conversation, which would by then begin to sail itself.
Communication is art built with “A Scientific Method”. It takes observation, inference, hypothesis, and theory, but never law. No two people are the same. You can’t make a law from observations from other people or the same person in different situations. That is what makes it as artistic as it is science, like all the logic behind a painting that comes out as a finesse without much thought.
I look at Software developers as the most committed people there are in the world, as it takes a high level of that to become one. Plus, those lines of code are so cool to look at.
Notwithstanding, there is a thin line between commitment and straight-out obsession, often leading to narrow-mindedness and, in the long run, less value added to the system we provide solutions to.
So take that walk, and have those small talk with non-techies that infuriates you every other time because they are the system you are providing solutions to.
Have them look at you like the ‘misfit’ you are. You’ll blend in due time; or not😅 don’t let that deter you. What better way to solve problems than first understanding the problem being faced and the entity facing the said problem? You are only half as good in anything you do; the rest depends on how you put it forth.
This is me, sitting on the fence between techy and non-techy. I’d just refer back to this article when I’ve made my way down to your side of the fence and can understand more why you’d want to stay in front of your PC to keep my communication up for the sake of my lost brothers😭😂
P.S. The above content has absolutely nothing to do with manipulating people but is strictly tips for building better communication skills🙃.
